It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.